MadameNoire
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A few months back, we published an essay about the signs that a woman is parked in the friend zone based on a viral TikTok video in which a woman pointed out the painful truth that many women don’t even recognize that they’re in the friend zone because men choose to sleep with them despite having no real romantic interest. However, what we didn’t address are some of the pitfalls that we, as women, tend to make that land us in these situations. While there are most certainly noncommittal f*ckboys who are out here setting women up for the okey-doke, if we turn the mirror on ourselves, we have to admit that some of our missteps also place us in situationships that we never intended to be in. Here are a few of them:
Exuding pick-me vibes
A pick me is easily spotted from a mile away because she’s usually shouting from the rooftops about how she’s “not like the rest of these women.” She will do the absolute most to gain favor with the opposite sex, especially if it means putting down her fellow woman to make herself appear more desirable. While her attempts to gain attention from the man of her choice may work for the short term, in the long run, pick-mes tend to find themselves in relationship arrangements that they don’t particularly care for. For one, their need to be liked and accepted by men usually trumps their willingness to speak up about the things that they actually desire. It also makes them more likely to go with the flow.
Giving too much too soon
It’s a piece of advice that’s given often by people who tout themselves as relationship experts, but there is some truth to the tidbit that giving up too much too soon during the early stages of dating is a recipe for disaster. If you think about it, any time someone gives up all of the relationship benefits before they’re even sure where the situation is heading, there’s a greater chance that they will end up boxing themselves into a friend with benefits situation even though that’s not what they actually want.
Playing the friend card way too hard
It can be extremely difficult to be vulnerable with a person and actually put yourself out there when you’re romantically interested them. As a result, some women (and men) try to play it safe by getting closer to the object of their affection under the guise of friendship. This almost always backfires. Sis, just shoot your shot.
Failure to communicate expectations
There’s nothing wrong with being in a situationship if that’s what two consenting adults choose to do with their time. The issue with these arrangements comes into play when one party desires something different. Some were unfortunately led to believe that they will scare a potential partner away too soon by speaking on their desire to be in a committed relationship and as a result, keep quiet about what their expectations are and simply go along to get along.
