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Dear Ashley is a weekly sex column in which Sex Expert Ashley Cobb answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes, anal sex, finding the right sex toy and everything in between.
Have a sex question, Ashley “Your Favorite Friend In Filth” has an answer. For questions on sex email Ashley at ashley@sexwithashley.com
Dear Ashley,
My bedroom skills are top notch. Recently, I went out with a guy from Snapchat and we had a great time. We ended up having sex on the first night. The next day he gave me $250 via Cash App. I never asked for anything from him but every time we have sex he sends me money. I got him to pay for my braces and all. Oh, I’m 22 and he is 52. I know nothing about him but I am afraid he thinks I am a hoe. He lets me take his car, buys me stuff. I asked for a relationship and he says OK, cool. My question is, is this a relationship?
Hello,
Let me find out you’re a “Sugar Baby” without even applying. I need you to teach me exactly what you’re doing in the bedroom because Ma’am, I have bills that need to be paid too. Lol!
But in all seriousness, this seems like a beneficial relationship to me. He gets good sex and you get a bill or two paid, it’s a win-win. Some men are providers, also with the significant age difference he may feel like he has to “Pay to Play.” Older men who date younger women tend to use money, among other things, to make up for what they lack in youth. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing because older men typically are more established and have access to larger amounts of disposable cash. I say ride it out until the wheels fall off.
I don’t think he views you as a “hoe.” In my opinion, he found interest in someone young enough to be his daughter and he wants to keep her around. You are not asking for money, he’s giving it freely. This man understands the phrase “A wet p— and a dry hand don’t mix” and I can appreciate that, lol! I would caution you though, to not put all your hopes and dreams into this relationship. I doubt if he views this as a long term thing. Not all relationships are supposed to be forever, some are just moments in time. Enjoy this moment, make sure you save some of the money he gives you. If you have aspirations to start school or a business let him invest in your dreams. He wants to provide you with money anyway, why not let it be for your future.
Oh and get to know him. Talk to him with clothes on. Make sure he doesn’t have a secret family or wife somewhere. If you’re going to continue to see him you don’t want any surprises. Also let another person know that you guys are engaging, like a friend, cool auntie or someone. People are crazy and just in case he might be crazy, someone other than you needs to know his name, what he looks like and the logistics of when you guys link up. In the meantime, don’t look a gift horse in the mouth and enjoy it while it lasts!
Your Favorite Friend In Filth
Ashley Cobb, is the millennial microphone that brings the conversation of Black women’s pleasure to the forefront. Creator of digital platform Sex With Ashley, her work and words have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Shape Magazine, Business Insider and Huffington Post. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter via @sexwithashley
