MadameNoire
Source: LaylaBird / Getty
Dear Ashley, a weekly sex column in which Sex Expert Ashley Cobb answers your most intimate questions. Nothing is off-limits! From threesomes, anal sex, finding the right sex toy and everything in between. Have a sex question, Ashley “Your Favorite Friend In Filth” has an answer. For questions on sex email Ashley at ashley@sexwithashley.com
Dear Ashley,
I cheated on my wife a few months ago with a woman I met on a business trip. It was a huge mistake. I instantly regretted it. My wife and I have been happily married for 10 years. We have 2 beautiful kids. It was a bad decision. I know this will never happen again so I never told my wife about the affair. Anyway, last week I got a Facebook message from the woman I had the affair with saying she has an STD and that she thinks she got it from me. She said she was last tested after her and her boyfriend broke up, and I’m the only guy she slept with since. I got tested and my results came back positive. I am freaking out. Like I said this is the first time I’ve ever cheated on my wife, so this had to come from either my wife or the other woman. What if my wife has been cheating on me? How do I tell my wife I have an STD? If she finds out I cheated, and she didn’t, our marriage is over — and if this STD is from my wife cheating I don’t know how I can live with that. What do I do?
Dear Cheating Husband,
So let me make sure I have all my facts straight…you cheat on your wife, contract an STD, when you added 2+2 instead of getting four– you somehow came with the scenario that your wife could be cheating as well and possibly gave you the STD, and if your wife is indeed cheating, you the cheater– don’t know if you can live with that. Whew, was Walmart having a sale on audacity? Like seriously? Having unprotected sex in general is reckless AF. Having unprotected sex with a wife at home is selfish, dumb as hell and completely irresponible. To recklessly cheat on your spouse with so little regard and then somehow let the thought escape your mind that all of this could possibly be her fault.. Is it crack? I 110% believe you got the STD from the woman you cheated with. The End. A quick lesson on how STDs work, some can lie dormant for years, which means people will be asymptomatic until one day *boom* a symptom appears out of nowhere. My spidey senses are telling me “work trip bae” had it but didnt know she had it. She was unaware until she noticed a symptom or had a random test done and now she thinks she caught it from you.
Do I think you should tell your wife, hell yes! It’s too little, too late to worry about your marriage now. The time to think about your marriage was before you had unprotected sex on your business trip. Not telling her is not an option. Assuming you’ve had sex with your wife since the affair she has now been exposed and needs to be aware. Your marriage is probably over or at best never the same. I just really hope that whatever you have can be treated with some antibiotics . That would be the only “good news” in this whole scenario. How sad, angry, hurt and a billion other emotions your wife will feel when she learns that her “faithful” husband of ten years was on a business trip enjoying some O.P.P. and now she may have an STD through no fault of her own. My best advice for you is to run because Husband, you in danger, bruh!
Ashley Cobb, is the millennial microphone that brings the conversation of Black women’s pleasure to the forefront. Creator of digital platform Sex With Ashley, her work and words have been featured in Cosmopolitan, Men’s Health, Shape Magazine, Business Insider and Huffington Post. Follow her on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter via @sexwithashley
