MadameNoire
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If you watched “Braxton Family Values” from the beginning, you know that almost all of the sisters have gone through it, at one point or another, with their husbands or boyfriends. And that was certainly the case for Towanda Braxton and her ex-husband Andre Carter.
Though the couple had been married for some time when we met them (They married in 2004 and their union ended in 2017.), it was clear that something was off in their dynamic. Now that it’s over and has been for some time, Towanda is speaking more about that relationship, how she lingered in an unhealthy relationship for longer than she should have, how she and Andre co-parent these days. (Hint: They don’t.) And how the new man in her life, Sean Hall has helped change the game.
Braxton spoke about all of this with Tami Roman on her new show, “Get Into It With Tami Roman.”
Check out a few highlights from the conversation below.
Tami: Do you personally feel like you have more story to tell?
Towanda: I do. I have a whole bunch to tell. And that’s why we have this YouTube channel, KingLadybug, because you’re able to see a different side of me than they were able to show me on “Braxton Family Values.” Let’s just be honest, it’s so many of us. It’s really six of us, including Mommy. So it’s been challenging over the past few years to really be able to tell my story.
But I’m not afraid to tell my story anymore, especially with my wasband, all the things I was going through with my wasband, walking in a lot of shame and not wanting to tell anybody. A wasband is an ex-husband. He was my husband.
I’m still going through quite a bit with him. I just feel like I’m doing myself and everyone else a disserves by not speaking my truth. If I’m not speaking my truth how am I going to help somebody else.
Tami Roman: How has it been raising kids after this divorce?
Towanda: Ugh. It’s been a little challenging. Like I said, my wasband isn’t involved in their lives at all. At all. He doesn’t see them. He bumped into my son about a year or so ago. You heard me, bumped into. He hasn’t seen our daughter in about three years. And it’s just—it hurts my heart. I thought that it would be helpful for them to immediately go into counseling. They have to get their feelings out. They have to understand that it’s not their fault. Kids will carry on that burden for a long time. I never wanted that for my kids.
I’m a product of my parents getting a divorce and It was hard for me and I was grown. I know that kids can bounce back and they’re resilient but I want to make sure they do it in a healthy way.
Tami: Him not being involved with the kids, is it because of your dynamic with him? Sometimes people don’t know how to co-parent after divorce.
Towanda: Honestly, I have to tell you that he told me that if I divorced him, he would just be cordial with the kids. He’s not going to want to have anything to do with the kids. Let me tell you something, sis. I am a Virgo. I am the responsible one in the family. I actually taped him. I recorded the conversation. I actually have it on tape. These aren’t the things that I’m making up. I’m not defaming him in anyway. These are just facts.
Tami: And I liked him too. When y’all was together on the show, I liked him.
Towanda: You did. I think it was you and maybe somebody else.
Tami: He seemed like a good support system for you. Then by season 3 we started seeing…
Towanda: Sprinkles of the truth because I sheltered it for a long time. I was protective over that because I felt like in our community, in reality shows I felt like that’s all you saw was bashing African American men. And I didn’t want to be a part of that. I just didn’t want that. Now, I’m like Towanda, what are you doing for you, girl? You’re protecting everybody else. What are you doing for yourself? So I just have to start telling the truth.
Tami: Is there a way to get him to come around, be a part, make him understand that they want a relationship with him.
Towanda: I’ve tried all of that. I also reached out to him. He blocked me. In the beginning, he was putting my son in the middle of a lot of things. I told him, ‘You can hate me. I don’t care.’ Blame it on me. It’s my fault that we’re not together. It’s my fault. But at the end of the day, it’s not about us, it’s about the children. And then I told him, in order to move forward with the children, call their counselor, talk to their counselor to make sure we’re on the same page. He doesn’t want to do that.
Tami: You don’t feel any way about leaving that situation?
Towanda: No. Sean and I—I love my man. He’s amazing. He stepped in and he’s become the father to my kids and he doesn’t have any natural bio kids. He looks at Braxton and Brooke as if they’re his own. And it takes an amazing person, man or woman, to step in to those shoes because he kind of got thrown into the lion’s den.
Tami: You’re a wife, mother, businesswoman. When did you say I’ve got to find me?
Towanda: When I looked around and everybody was doing their thing and I wasn’t. Because I spent so much time making sure everybody else was okay. Moving forward from my wasband, being in that situation, I stayed in it longer than I was supposed to because I was abusing myself more than he was abusing me. Then when I realized, when I gained the strength. I’m more than enough. I’m okay. I can do this by myself. I don’t have to be in this abusive relationship, mentally, emotionally and verbally. It was a lot that I went through. Then when I started getting stronger and those shells started falling off my body, he couldn’t believe it. The things he could say to me before, he wasn’t able to say to me anymore. I shed my skin. I did.
On her new relationship with Sean Hall
Tami: Last fall you surprised your entire family with your engagement to Sean. How did you manage to keep that a secret?
Towanda: It’s unofficial official if that makes sense.
Tami: That don’t make no sense.
Towanda: It does. Yes, it does Tami. You know it does. We’ve been talking about marriage. We know we’re going to get married. It’s going to be a great situation because I’m the only sister that never had a wedding. So it’s going to be a big deal. He gave me a promise ring from Tiffany. I don’t care we go. I don’t care how big or small my ring is, I just love him. He’s an incredible guy and I’m just so blessed to have a man like that. And because he’s in the business, I don’t have to explain things to him.
Tami: What made you trust him? What I think I’m hearing it was his presence with the kids that made you trust him.
Towanda: Yeah that but before then, he didn’t meet the kids until I knew it was going to be what it is. Even though I knew him for a long time, I didn’t carry my luggage with me. I left my luggage with my wasband. I had to understand that each male is an individual. And because I went through these things with my wasband—while we were together, he never stopped being in a relationship with other people. I realize he’s an individual and I couldn’t carry all the cheating and the lying into this relationship or it wouldn’t have been healthy. But he made it safe for me to talk about it. He was inviting. He was like you’ve got to get it out, honey. The more you talk about it, the less it becomes a trigger.
In the beginning, I would still be upset about the things my wasband put me through but then all of that stuff left. So even now with my talking about it, I’m very calm. I don’t feel like I’m the victim. When you’re a victim there has to be a hero and there has to be a villain. I decided I was going to be my own hero.
You can listen to Towanda’s full interview with Tami Roman in the video below.
